Julia Louis-Dreyfus Just Read Jerry Seinfeld for Filth
After Seinfeld said cancel culture has ruined comedy and that he longs for the return of "dominant masculinity," we all kind of wanted to hear from Elaine.
Greetings Cappers! Sorry about the lack of posts this past week. I was moving into a new apartment, which is a special kind of hell, though I have a dishwasher now for the first time in seven years.
I’ve been itching to write about Jerry Seinfeld’s latest meltdown, wherein he declared on Bari Weiss’ podcast (LOL) that he pines for the “dominant masculinity” and “agreed-upon hierarchy” of the 1960s, when women knew their place and men had Don Draper-levels of repressed emotionality. “I miss a dominant masculinity,” he said. “Yeah, I get the toxic thing. Thank you, thank you. But still, I like a real man.” Seinfeld listed JFK, Muhammad Ali, Sean Connery and Hugh Grant (???) as examples of real men, though it’s unclear what bygone masculine qualities these men supposedly possessed that I’m not still finding in the straight men of Tinder.
This bizarre sexist outburst came on the heels of another one of his nauseating rants a month earlier about how cancel culture is ruining comedy. The lack of funny TV shows these days, Seinfeld complained to David Remnick, is “the result of the extreme left and PC crap and people worrying so much about offending other people.” (He hasn’t seen Hacks or Abbott Elementary or Veep, I guess?)
It’s clear that Seinfeld is having some kind of meltdown—perhaps because Duke students protested and booed him during his commencement speech there last month, or because no one will let go of the fact that he dated a 17-year-old girl when he was 38. But I have been wondering for a while now, as we watch Jerry spiral out into sexist Boomer oblivion, what Julia Louis-Dreyfus has to say about all this. I’ve seen JLD at an abortion rights protest holding a sign that quoted her own Veep character, I generally think she is a top-tier human, and while Seinfeld has been droning on about comedy being dead, she has been quietly proving him wrong with her comedic work.
Finally, the New York Times asked her directly about Seinfeld’s cancel culture comments. Here’s how she expertly navigated that question:
This was a great answer. Without directly mentioning Jerry, she basically called him a glaring red flag. I would only add to these remarks that all the comedians who are complaining about not being able to joke about certain topics anymore seem to be missing the actual problem with their jokes, which is that they just aren’t funny. As Lindy West wrote in one of my favorite-ever pieces for Jezebel, you can make people laugh about literally any topic, no matter how dark—even including rape—if you understand how to make a joke about said topic that’s actually funny. Making rape victims (or trans people, or disabled people, or any subjugated group) the butt of your joke is never going to be funny, whereas skewering something like rape culture actually can be, when done right. (Lindy gives good examples of rape jokes that actually worked in the piece linked above, though the Louis C.K. one hasn’t aged so well.) Point is, Seinfeld should consider that people aren’t responding well to his comedy because it’s just…not very good.
And finally, we move onto…
The Haiku Competition Winner
I received a bunch of very compelling entries, full of puns and rhymes and alliteration and all the things that make my English major heart beat. But there could only be three! So without further ado, the winners of the Nightcap Mermaid Cock Haiku Competition this year are [drumroll]:
First place: James Suffern
My bocce balls babe—
Lingerer…I’d finger her
To be mine in brine
Second place: Holley Simmons
Up top she’s a 10
Down below there’s confusion
Yet seamen she lures
Third place: Peter Key
This mermaid should seek
Counseling because her tail
Is totally nuts
Congratulations James, send me your home address for that trophy!!!